


hold all the cracks together and tell them they aren't broken

by shuttymcshutfuck



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Asexual Character, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, also virgil and logan arent together yet but they be crushing hard, everyone else is there but only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:13:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28433703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuttymcshutfuck/pseuds/shuttymcshutfuck
Summary: “Virgil, what’s wrong?” Logan looked him over for physical injuries but couldn’t find any. The only thing he could see was tear tracks on his face. His make-up from last night was smudged and he was still fully dressed in the same clothes he wore yesterday.“Am I b-broken?”or: Virgil comes out to Logan accidentally and Logan comforts him
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Kudos: 50





	hold all the cracks together and tell them they aren't broken

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is actually a gift i wrote for @green-writes-sanderssides on tumblr for the sanders sides secret santa!

Mornings were always nice for Logan, it was the time when his routine was the easiest to stay on track with. Alarm at 6:45am, out of bed by 6:47am, showered and dressed by 7:05am then reading over Thomas’s schedule until 8:25am when he would walk down for breakfast early. Patton was always downstairs by then, in the kitchen humming to himself while Janus gave him a hand with making breakfast. Logan grabbed some coffee and proceeded to sit at the dining table with a book in hand.

It was a fools game to try and guess when Roman, Remus and Virgil would be awake. Thankfully it wasn’t too long before Roman came down the stairs and tackled Patton with a tight hug, making him squeal. After a few minutes of small talk Patton and Janus carried through 6 plates of pancakes, each different types just as Remus threw himself down the stairs, literally.

“MORNING!” Remus shouted as he stood up, his neck making a sickening crack. Logan really wasn’t sure how someone who just woke up could be that energetic but maybe he could ask him later. His train of thought was broken by Patton nudging him slightly.

“Logan, do you mind going to see if Virgil’s awake? Wouldn’t want his breakfast to get cold.” Patton spoke softly like he always did in the morning, a smile on his face that was natural instead of forced yet. Logan nodded and made his way up the stairs. He felt a little like he was wasting his time going up until he heard what he thought was laughing? Maybe? He wasn’t sure until he knocked on Virgil's door and the sound stopped suddenly.

“Virgil? Are you alright?” There was no answer. Logan could feel himself get nervous but he pushed it down. “Virgil? It’s Logan.” His answer this time was only a soft sniffle. “Virgil, I’m coming in.” Logan steeled himself as he was unsure of what he’d find. He gingerly opened the door and switched on the fairy lights by the door, casting a soft warm glow over the room. As soon as Logan saw the shaking Virgil shaped mound on the bed he practically ran over, careful not to startle the obviously upset Virgil.

“Virgil, what’s wrong?” Logan looked him over for physical injuries but couldn’t find any. The only thing he could see was tear tracks on his face. His make-up from last night was smudged and he was still fully dressed in the same clothes he wore yesterday.

“Am I b-broken?” Virgil could barely speak through the sobs that racked his body. Logan didn’t even try to hold back how shocked he was at the question. Why would Virgil think he was broken? To Logan, Virgil was perfect.

“What on earth would make you think that?” Logan sat down on the bed beside Virgil. He knew he wasn’t the best at comforting people but he had to try.

“I just- I think I’m ace and I’m just scared p-people will think I'm broken or- or wrong or something.” Logan's heart broke at the cracks in Virgil’s voice. He knew that what was wrong didn’t have a simple answer and he couldn’t just solve the problem, he had to speak from the heart so to speak. 

“Of course not, there is nothing wrong with being asexual.” Virgil sat up a bit to face Logan, not meeting his eyes. Logan kept his voice steady as he started to feel something creep up inside of him.

“Are you s-sure? cause I just f-feel like there’s some-something wrong with m-me and I don’t know how to-to fix it.” Logan took Virgil’s hands in his, causing Virgil to look up at him. Physical touch was grounding, Logan knew this. If it made his heart flutter a little bit then that was just an added bonus. The next bit was the hard bit, vulnerability. 

“There is nothing wrong with you, Virgil and I know that for a fact.” He took a small breath as he confessed. “Actually, I’m ace as well and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with either of us.” 

“You are?” Virgil’s eyes looked into Logan’s, shiny with tears. It made Logan’s heart wrench with pain. 

“Yes, I just never told anyone because I didn’t really think it was too important.” Logan shrugged, playing his confession off as if Virgil wasn’t the first person he’s ever told about being asexual and that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Logan could feel his body start to tighten but he forced his shoulders to stay down.

“Oh,” Virgil fidgeted with the corner of the blanket he still had wrapped around his body.

“So, do you think there’s anything wrong with me?” Logan felt his stomach figuratively drop as he asked. He logically knew Virgil didn’t find anything wrong with him, but anxiety is illogical, and he was in Virgil’s room. 

“O-of course not.” Logan’s heart pounded in his throat. Was he lying? No. Logically Janus wasn’t here, but his heart wouldn’t calm down. His lungs felt like they couldn’t take in much air. He felt like there was a weight on his chest. 

“Lo?” Virgil’s voice sounded like it was underwater. Then it hit him.

He was having a panic attack. 

“We have to get out of your room. Spending too much time in here can affect your reasoning and cause cognitive distortion. That's why you were believing you were broken. That’s why I’m panicking about something so silly. Your room, while comforting to you, could end up harming your way of thinking in the long run. And-”

“Okay, Logan, take a breath. I get it.” Virgil took Logan’s hand and they both left the room. Logan watched as Virgil’s breaths seemed to slow a little and he felt the panic leave his body bit by bit. He took a deep breath and adjusted his tie as he cleared his throat. 

“I apologize for that, however I do believe staying in your room too much could be bad for you. How do you feel now?” 

“Worried, but...not broken.” Logan nodded with a genuine smile.

“Good, now take a deep breath.” Virgil nodded and took a deep breath, wrapping his hood around him. “You are not broken. You are perfect the way you are, Virgil.” Virgil looks up at Logan with wide eyes and pink cheeks through his pale foundation. “Ace, Gay, Aro, Poly, no matter what you are, you are perfect that way.” With a small smile, Virgil throws himself to Logan, hugging him, taking the logical side by surprise. 

“Thank you, Logan.” As Logan slowly puts his arms around Virgil, he feels something else bubbling inside of him but this time he knows what it is. 

“Ah-You’re welcome.” Logan lets himself enjoy the embrace for a moment. Virgil’s warm even if he has perpetually cold hands. It’s only when Logan starts to wonder how they would feel in his own that he realises how long they've been hugging for. Even more so that Virgil hasn’t loosened his grip in the slightest. “How about we watch a movie in my room? Help you calm down a little?”

“That sounds nice.” Virgil lets go of Logan with a small, calming sigh. Logan feels the warmth Virgil gave, leaving him.

“Alright, you choose a film while I go get us some food and tell Pat that you’re okay. I have make-up wipes in the second drawer down at my desk if you want them, pj’s are in the third drawer down next to the window.” Logan leads him over to his bed and turns on the tv, handing Virgil the remote.

“Oh, okay. Thanks, Lo.” As Logan makes his way to the door he stops and turns back to him.

“Oh and Virgil?”

“Yeah, Logan?”

“Please, if you ever need to get out of your room when it gets too much, come to mine. We will watch a movie or play a game.” Logan thinks he sees Virgil blush as he nods but he isn’t quite sure.

~~

Only a few moments later Logan was back with their pancakes (blueberry for himself and plain with syrup for Virgil) and tea for the two of them. Logan felt his heart skip a beat when he saw Virgil, wearing an old pair of periodic table pjs, wrapped in Logan's favorite blanket. He looked so much calmer than earlier and without his make-up on Virgil looked softer in some way. Logan came back to his senses as Virgil frowned slightly at the lack of coffee, causing Logan to chuckle.

“You know caffeine will only make you feel worse while your anxiety is heightened.” He says sternly, much like the teacher everyone says he is. Logan hands Virgil his pancakes and tea before sitting beside him. Far away enough that it isn't awkward but close enough that if Virgil wanted to lean on him he could.

“Still, coffee is nicer” Virgil pouts softly before chuckling and settling into Logan’s pillows, closing the space Logan left between them.

“I know, now what have you picked out?” Logan started to cut up his pancakes just so he had something to do with his hands. He knew that the reason his heart was racing again wasn't his anxiety but that didn't mean he knew how to calm it down. He’d have to ask Patton later since he was the heart, only if he agreed to not tell anyone. 

“Uh, I was thinking Onward? I still haven’t seen it yet but Roman said it was good.” Logan felt a smile creep onto his face that only grew when he saw Virgil smiling back. 

“Great, I haven’t seen it either.” Logan felt his heart slow down again as the movie began, feeling the pressure lift off of his chest ever so slightly. They both sat in silence as it played, laughing every so often. About half way through Logan felt Virgil's head fall onto his shoulder. It was then that he decided that he couldn't move until Virgil did, similar to Pattons rule if any pet is lying on you. The comparison was relatively close, Virgil was very similar to a cat anyway.

“Virgil?” Logan whispered as the credits began to roll. Virgil just grumbled slightly in return.  _ Of course he's asleep _ , Logan thought to himself. As gently as he could, Logan slowly moved the plates onto his bedside table and started to move Virgil into more of a lying position. There was little protest on Virgil’s end apart from a few indiscernible mumbles that made Logan’s heart beat a little faster, making him more curious as to why it did so.

As Logan tried to get up he felt Virgil's hand reach out for him. He knew that if Virgil woke up cuddled into him he might feel uncomfortable but on the other hand, Logan didn’t know if he could leave him. Thankfully he thought of a compromise. Logan pulled out a soft shark plushie he kept under his bed and gave it to Virgil who snuggled close to it. He really had no clue that Virgil was such a softie sometimes. Logan still felt bad for leaving but he didn’t want to overstep his bounds so he took the now empty mugs and plates downstairs as quietly as he could, leaving Virgil to finally get some rest. He must have still had a smile on his face by the time he got to the kitchen as Patton gave him a knowing look and a grin as he stood at the sink.

“Not a word, Pat.” Logan said as firmly as he could with his heart currently in a puddle. 

“Of course, my lips are sealed.” Logan placed the dishes into the dishwasher before starting it. 

“So, Patton, I have a question.” Logan broke the bit of white noise of the dishwasher as he spoke up. 

“Sure, Logan! What is it?” Patton bounded up to Logan who was sitting at the counter, making a cup of coffee, having needed it earlier. Logan explained the situation of his heart beating fast whenever he and Virgil touch. The blush he felt creep onto his cheeks as he watched Virgil smile. The whole time he watched Patton fail to stifle a grin. “Logan, do you really not know what this is?” Logan nodded gingerly.

“I don’t understand what’s happening and why now?” Patton took Logan's hands.

  
“You like him, Logan.” Logan felt it all hit him at once. It was so obvious, he had a textbook case of feelings.    
  
“Shit.”


End file.
